Mom cutting off teenage daughter financially sparks debate


A mother has sparked an online debate after she shared her despair with her 18-year-old daughter, revealing she was considering cutting her off financially.

Posted on popular discussion site Mumsnet on Monday, user BrokenToy shared the story, which quickly received hundreds of responses and opinions.

In the post, she explained, “My daughter is 18. She’s been pretty much living at her boyfriend’s house for months now. She informed me the other week that she no longer lives at the house, we were to so pay her for babysitting/dog sitting for our weekend.Weekend had been booked for over a year.We had no choice but to hoard money or lose money hundreds of concert tickets and a hotel.

The frustrated mum explained that this was not the only time her daughter had asked for money: “She texted me on Saturday about needing new jeans. I didn’t answer,’ she said: ‘She then phoned me yesterday yelling at the phone that I am violent and neglectful and leaving her without clothes. Two weeks ago I gave her £50 to buy some summer clothes for the holiday we are taking in July.

“She’s constantly asking for small amounts of money here and there — stamps, printing credit for college, things like that that she knows I won’t say no to.”

Mom and Dad’s Bank

In 2019, the Pew Research Center released a report analyzing Cenus Bureau data to find that only 24% of young adults are considered financially independent at age 22, up from 32% in 1980.

Some 45% of adults aged 18 to 20 said they received financial support from their parents, while 59% of parents said they financially support their adult children.

The most common expenses covered were groceries, tuition, and housing.

“I’m done,” the Mumsnet user wrote, “I’m about to say great, you’ve moved, no more monthly bus pass, pocket money, clothes, takeaway She works five hours a week and could work more She smokes and drinks She only uses us as a bank and only contacts us when she needs a top-up I really don’t want to take her on either vacation, but it’s a sunk cost and at least it’s all-inclusive so she doesn’t ask for money.”

The mother’s dilemma has divided opinion online, sparking debate among Mumsnet users, who headed to the comments.

“If she doesn’t live at home, she has to support herself,” one commenter wrote. While another agreed: ‘She wants to be an adult, to live independently, so she shouldn’t keep asking you for handouts.’

In a later comment, the original poster explained that her daughter was in college and working five hours a week.

But others have suggested the mother should continue to help her daughter financially. One commenter said: “Personally, I would support her financially while she is still studying. But not after that.”

Another Mumsnet user suggested, “Agree on a monthly budget for her while she’s in college and don’t pay more than that.”

Other users agreed that it seemed like the issue was more important than the money: “If it was my family, I would do my best to mend the relationship and set up healthy boundaries,” said one. comment. While another agreed: ‘I would focus on your relationship with her and help her through this new stage in her life.’

In a later comment, the mum said she was even more upset about the situation and wrote: “I know I may sound cold but honestly I’m just broken by it all. I don’t know how to fix a relationship with someone. ‘one who is not I am not interested.’

A file photo of a teenage girl arguing with her mother on the couch. A woman has sparked debate online after sharing that she was considering cutting off her daughter financially.
gpointstudio/Getty Images
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